No Signs of Intelligent Life

I Take My Spam “Organic”

Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of spam.  You too?  Yeah, of course.  We all get our share. 

But this isn’t your run of the mill trash; this is different; even more disturbing.  How is that possible?  Let me explain.

If you send and receive email or spend any time on the internet (oh, that’s right, you’re here, aren’t you?) then you no longer think of that alternate foodstuff when you hear the term spam.  It’s those annoying messages, memos, advertisements and newsletters that show up incessantly in your email’s inbox, whether or not you’ve asked for, signed up for or opted into, and often despite repeated attempts at shutting them out. Resistance is futile, so just get used to doing with them what you’ve done with junk mail for years – ignore ‘em and toss ‘em.  Getting irate does no good.  I’ve been there.  Remember, if it (spam) weren’t effective (meaning someone, somewhere is buying what they’re selling) then it would stop.  However, since there is an ass for ever seat, as it were, they’ll keep coming.  But, that’s not the crap that’s showing up in my box lately.

One of the great things about the internet is meeting new people.  I have met, connected with, and engaged literally thousands of interesting people. It’s wonderful, and they are quite an eclectic bunch, and I do consider many to be friends of a sort, and no doubt they feel likewise about me.  How can I be so sure?  Aha!  I know they love me, because they keep sending me emails.  So, if it comes from friends, it’s not really junk, is it?  But since most of it really is, at least to me, garbage, it still goes into the spam bin.  Then it’s really not your ordinary spam, it’s “organic spam”.

One difference I believe is that these people send out their annoying messages, memos, advertisements and newsletters, only to their friends.  They must assume that it doesn’t matter if it is of any interest to their friend, because an email from a friend to a friend is not spam, is it?  They must presume that because they have your email address, that you have de facto, opted into their list.  And how do I know that?  Well, because organic spam, unlike regular spam, usually doesn’t have an opt-out or unsubscribe link.  How insidious! How clever!  After all, who would dissuade a friend from keeping in touch?

To all of my “friends”, who have made those assumptions and presumptions, I would like to say, “NOT”.  And I would add that the quickest way to lose friends is to abuse a friendship, internet or otherwise.  So, if I have not opted-in or subscribed to, please, color me gone. Remove me from your organically grown list.

We can still be friends … and we can still keep in touch … just a little less often.

4 Responses to “I Take My Spam “Organic””

  1. Nick Snyder, Sr. says:

    Your post reminds me, I need to make some spam tacos in the near future. Hmmm, yummy!

    And, to purge my email list subscriptions too. They’re starting to get in the way of my personal productivity, so with the New Year, it’s time to whittle them down to the best half-dozen or so I’ve been a long-time subscriber to and be done with it.

    Good luck on the blog Bob and Diana! Nice job so far.

  2. Ami says:

    I think I threw up a little bit in my mouththinking about organic spam. Must not be kosher!

  3. Ami says:

    I think I threw up a little bit in my mouththinking about organic spam. Must not be kosher!

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